10 Surprising Struggles Interracial Couples Endure

Posted by Sidney, 01 Nov

Much as the acceptance to interracial relationships has increased significantly, once in a while, interracial couples still have to deal with overt and covert racism here and there. But when a couple fall in love, struggles isn’t something they anticipate. Problem is: Not everyone has embraced interracial relationships.

In a thread on Ask Reddit, couples shared the struggles they endure daily for being a mixed couple; things they never thought they would deal with before coupling.

1. People don’t think you are a couple

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A couple went to Disney World with their family. The group had 11 blacks and only one white man. When it was their turn to ride, they cut off the line when it got to the white man because people didn’t think he could be part of the group.

2. The language issue

Sometimes interracial couples are forced to address some linguistic differences. This is the case where one word has different meanings in different languages. Reddit user YWAK98alum is a white man with a Hindu wife. Apparently, there is a word which in her language means ‘not currently needed’. However, the word literally translates to ‘useless’.

People get cross with his wife or avoid her altogether because she frequently uses the word. They often misinterpret her to mean she is calling them ‘useless’.

3. Covert comments about spouse’s race

Sometimes when people find out the race of your significant other, they ask questions which, much as they are innocent, they come off as racist. For instance, someone saying “I have never been attracted to (say) black women." This is kind of like the way Asians get asked if they can speak English.

4. Having to deal with jokes about your race from spouse’s family

Reddit user BananaTwinkie, Asian, talks about how her German husband’s father made a smirk comment about her eyes: “’You don’t have to squint, it’s not that dark in here.” Much as she understood it was a joke, she went along with it and replied: “F*** you! Where’s the beer?”

5. People trying to figure out your partner’s ethnicity.

“Which part of the word does he come from?” “What is she? Middle Eastern?” Rude, right?

6. People hitting on you or your spouse because they don’t think you are together.

Reddit user bflowyngz is a black woman married to a Korean man. Men have hit on her severally at bars when she is seated right next to her husband. And even when they are having a conversation, they still hit on her assuming they are work colleagues.

7. The identity issue for the kids

Biracial kids tend to be forced to pick a side. The real problem comes because when they are younger, they really have no clue. The children also have to endure stares from strangers. It’s like you can hear their thoughts screaming, “What are you!!?”

8. Are these kids really your kids?

I have heard of enough incidents where mothers to biracial kids have been mistaken for the nanny. Fathers have also been mistaken for kidnappers. Reddit user gamerplays is Korean married to a white woman. He writes: "I never thought I would have to explain to my daughter that she is really my daughter. I have had people come up to me and tried to stop me from picking her up. I’ve had people straight out ask me who her father is."

9. When you are shocked about who isn’t ok with you as a couple

We always seek our parents’ and friends’ approval on whom we date or marry. Now imagine thinking your family and friends will be cool about your relationship only to find they aren’t. People have been disowned by their own parents. Some friends even refuse to hang out with the interracial couples. There is nothing as bad as being forced to make a choice between love and family/friends.

10.Being harassed in public

Imagine someone spitting on you while hurling racial slurs. Just a few months ago, an interracial couple got stabbed for kissing in public. There are haters out there. And some couples even have to choose where to hang out because some places are a no-go-zone for interracial couples.

Reddit user Zeroeh was pulled out of their car by a cop because he is a white man with a black woman. He had to prove she wasn’t a prostitute by showing the cop their wedding photo.

That said, love conquers a lot. And as a couple, so long as what binds you together is love, what people say or do won’t matter that much. Eventually, you will grow thick skin and learn to ignore such. So long as both of you love and respect each other, that’s’ all that counts.

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