For the record: "My White husband does not define me"
After 22 years of being married, people still question their marriage. They still get stares. At restaurants some people ask if they are together. And to top it all, people still make ridiculous comments and assumptions about “what it means to be the type of black woman who would marry a white man.”
“Unless you really know me, don’t assume you do based on what you think you see… My white husband does not define me,” says author April French.
The above is what most interracial couples go through. They are judged for their interracial love. And the sad bit is: Most people don't believe that a black woman can marry a white man just for love. There must be something there... She must be having some issues.
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Well, April has decided to set the record straight.
“Here’s the thing: My husband’s race has nothing to do with the type of woman I am. True, even as a little girl I was more attracted to little white boys over black boys. But I never gave it much thought at all. I definitely never assumed that there was something wrong with me. I just knew that blue eyes did it for me.
Now, before you go there, trying to figure out the source of my ‘issues,’ I came from a healthy, two-parent home. My mom and dad were very involved parents, who were married for almost 40 years before my mom passed on. They raised 10 kids.”
April was brought up to be proud of who she was. Her parents strengthened them from within. They told her she was pretty since childhood and the father used to sing to his seven girls. “He reinforced the notion that black was indeed beautiful from as early as I can remember. He was always reading books. If it had anything to do with Africa or African-American history, he knew about it. In other words, he made sure we knew from whom we came.”
Some people automatically assume that April married white because she has self-hate issues or daddy issues or issues with all black men. But that isn’t the case with her saying: “My first love was my daddy. In addition to him, I had great black male role models: uncles, cousins, brothers. I have three brothers, all of whom married beautiful black women and have beautiful black kids.I love being black. My choice to date and marry white did not erase that.”
Basically, April has been raised in the black culture and her mother told them all about her African roots. So her preference in white men didn’t come about out of self-hate or lack of pride in her black self. It just happened. She says:
“I can’t begin to tell you how much I love me some me! From my eyes to my lips to my brown skin, which, at age 43, shows no signs of aging.
I didn’t marry a white man to elevate my status. I didn’t marry white to produce beautiful children (my children would be beautiful regardless). I didn’t marry white to erase my blackness. I married a man whom I love very much—a man who watched me birth our three sons; a man who held me up, who mourned with me, when I lost both my parents; a man who is the epitome of what God says a man should be to his wife: a defender, a protector, a lover, a friend.
Sure, we’ve had our ups and downs; life has thrown us a few curves. But we weathered each and every storm together. And not once in our two decades together has he ever made me question who I am. I didn’t marry a white man to erase my blackness. I married a man who just happens to be white.”
Who wouldn't fall for such a man?
April's story is a real inspiration. And since most most black-white couples share the same experiences, I think her's is a story that can show young interracial couples that it can all work out no matter what people say. Share your thoughts.
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