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Believe in Your Magic: Why You're More Dateable Than You Think

Posted by Leticia, 1 day ago

Ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you something straight – that feeling of being "undatable" is nothing but a story you've been telling yourself for too long. I'm Leticia, and I've coached hundreds of beautiful souls just like you who couldn't see their own light. Here's the truth: everyone is dateable, including you. Especially you.

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The "Undatable" Myth

When clients come to me feeling undatable, I ask them to look at the evidence. Have you noticed how many different types of people find love every single day? From quiet bookworms to loud extroverts, from plus-size beauties to athletic builds, from those with perfect lives to those still figuring it out – love doesn't discriminate based on your so-called "flaws."

What's really happening is your confidence has taken a hit. Maybe after some rejection, disappointment, or comparing yourself to others (especially on those curated social media feeds!). But honey, that doesn't define your dateability.

Your Unique Attraction Factor

Here's what I tell both my male and female clients who feel undatable:

Every single person has something special about them that someone else will find absolutely magnetic. I call this your "Unique Attraction Factor." It might be:

Your thoughtful way of listening when others speak

That specific passion that makes your eyes light up

Your distinctive laugh that brightens a room

The way you care for those you love

Your perspective on life that comes from your unique experiences

The problem isn't your dateability – it's that you haven't recognized and embraced your own special magic yet.

Stop Comparing, Start Celebrating

One exercise I do with clients is having them list 10 qualities they believe make someone "dateable." Then I ask them to honestly check which ones they possess. Almost everyone has most of those qualities in some form!

The truth? There isn't a universal checklist for being dateable. What one person finds irresistible, another might not even notice. That's why interracial dating can be so beautiful – it often means connecting with someone who values qualities in you that others in your usual circles might have overlooked.

Rewriting Your Dating Story

It's time to change the narrative. Instead of "I'm undatable," try:

"I haven't met the right person yet who appreciates what makes me special."

"I'm working on becoming my best self while remaining open to connection."

"My worth isn't determined by my relationship status."

When my client Jasmine came to me, she was convinced she was "too academically focused" for the men she was interested in. Meanwhile, my client Marcus believed he was "too sensitive" for the women he wanted to date. After working together to highlight these qualities as assets (not liabilities), Jasmine connected with Michael, who adored her ambitious nature, and Marcus found Sophia, who treasured his emotional intelligence and compassionate heart.

Practical Steps to Boost Your Dating Confidence

Refresh your online profile: Make sure it authentically represents who you are, not who you think others want you to be.

Expand your dating pool: Consider matches you might normally overlook – especially in interracial dating where cultural differences can bring unexpected compatibility.

Practice self-appreciation: Daily, acknowledge something about yourself that is valuable and lovable.

Get feedback from friends: Ask trusted friends what they think makes you a great potential partner.

Focus on connection, not perfection: Enter dates thinking about whether you connect with this person, not whether you're "good enough" for them.

Your Dating Breakthrough Awaits

Remember that feeling undatable is temporary, not terminal. Every person I've worked with who felt this way eventually had their breakthrough moment – that magical realization that not only are they dateable, but they're actually a catch!

The only thing standing between you and that realization is the willingness to see yourself through fresh eyes and put yourself out there with authentic confidence.

Your perfect match is out there waiting to discover all the beautiful qualities that make you uniquely you. And trust me, they will appreciate exactly what others have missed.

What's something special about yourself that you think the right person would absolutely love? I'd love to hear what makes you uniquely dateable in the comments below! Share your thoughts and let's celebrate your magic together – your vulnerability might just inspire someone else who's feeling exactly the same way right now.