Guide for Caucasians at Black Cookouts

Posted by Sidney, 14 Sep 15

Being Caucasian and finding yourself at a predominantly black event isn't a shocker these days... With interracial dating and interracial friendships on the rise, you are bound to find yoursellf at some black barbecue or cookout where you end up being "THE" minority. If this is your first time at such an event, how do you carry yourself out without violating basic etiquette?

Michael Harriot came up with a hilarious Caucasian's guide to black barbecues. Well, if you ever find yourself in a black dominated cookout or barbecue, here are a few pointers:

  • Never show up on time: (And I think being fashionably late don't count here). If the hosts say the barbecue is at 3, getting there an hour and a half later is being on time... Apparently its a CP time kind a thing with some very complex algorithm to decipher. So when people are getting ready to fire up the grill, that's the start time.
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  • You have to bring something: At black cookouts, the host only supplies the meat and the grill. Everything else; the guests bring. And dont get this to mean potluck... blacks don't do potluck. And if you have no clue about making a proper dish (vegetarian shish kababs dont count), you are better off just bringing aluminum foil, cups and napkins. Apparently, at black cookouts, there can never be enough aluminum foil. Michael says: "I don’t know what the hell black people do with all the aluminum foil at cookouts, but they ALWAYS need more. I have long suspected that black cookouts were ploys by hosts to get free aluminum foil."
  • Its a cookOUT: If there's more than 7 folks, everything happens OUTside... unless you have to pee or something. So remember to bring a chair, bug spray and a second chair (be sure someone will help themselves to your first chair when you go inside to pee).
  • You should pack down the street: Apparently you don't want to have to wait for someone to move their car so you can get out. Its a black cookout and as the alcohol flows, so can the cookout turn dangerous. And much as white people get drunk and fight too, black people do it on another level. You need to read the signs and get the hell out as fast. And music aint just for jamming; its the sure way to read the mood so you can know when to scatter the f**k away.See why its important to pack down the street?
  • For black cookout music alert warning indicators and the full guide to black barbecues, visit Michael Harriot's blog

    13 responses to "Guide for Caucasians at Black Cookouts"

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    1.   Allison912 says:
      Posted: 01 Nov 15

      I don't understand how this site would allow such garbage to be on here. This is a slap in the face for blacks.

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    2.   JackOwen1 says:
      Posted: 29 Oct 15

      The author of this guide is a total racist idiot. Come on this is a site to bring black people and white people and other races together. It's not for expressing your silly and biased idolgy. Race is about heritage it's not about being separate or violent or stero typed. All people are individuals and should be treated on an individual basis. When someone makes such statements as this, you have to think. Where is this guy's head?

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    3.   Matrixxx12 says:
      Posted: 25 Oct 15

      The author forgot to advise you carry machete and gun along with chairs and aluminium foils. Also write down your will... half the crowd in black cookouts don't go back home alife! What a piece of article! Silly!

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    4.   callmeslick says:
      Posted: 05 Oct 15

      You don't know what the hell you are talking about and I think that it is a shame that you all would publish crap like this, really!

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    5.   Akreazz says:
      Posted: 04 Oct 15

      I would suggest that the individual writing his Guide for Caucasians at Black Cookouts, discontinue writing his guide. First, the originator should not go to the ghetto to get any ideas of a Caucasian at a Black Cookout. Black Cookouts are conducted no different, than white cookouts. The foods may be more seasoned and spicy, when prepared. But, everyone arrives on time, you are not required to bring your own chair, and their is always more than enough food for everyone. Responsible Black People never fight or argue at a cookout. I believe the researcher needs to redo his guide, with valid information.

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    6.   jaggers1 says:
      Posted: 03 Oct 15

      Personally with articles written like this the writer should be fired. Sidney needs to grow up and see people for who they are and stop trying to stereotype people because of skin color. I have been the only white person at a friends wedding and the only white person at another friends BBQ and I have never had any situation as described in this article. I showed up on time and many people were there before me. Its not about skin color but the quality of the people whom you associate with. You deal with lower class people wether black, white ,Hispanic or whatever that may be what you get but associate with people who have class and that's what you will see. I am tired of articles like this one.

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    7.   nephilly says:
      Posted: 01 Oct 15

      Is the afro American, white American stereo types still valid? I'm never late to anything nor my black friends, we all have good credit, all my white friends walk with more bopping then I ever did and I have yet to spend money to tattoo were my white friends have decided there complexion is now ink colored no longer to be called what's really good?

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    8.   ladybarb says:
      Posted: 29 Sep 15

      Whoever wrote this article must be fraternizing with Ghetto and lower class Black people. The people that I know and fraternize with do not behave like the behavior described in the article. If you're going to write something this ridiculous, say SOME Black people. Not ALL Black people do this.

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    9.   Briannayes says:
      Posted: 24 Sep 15

      Sidney is like the worst writer on your staff. He time after time, consistently produces fictitious bull. Every single article I've read by him is terrible and fictitious.

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    10.   ladybarb says:
      Posted: 20 Sep 15

      And this is supposed to be funny?

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    11. Posted: 18 Sep 15

      Wow...interesting article

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    12. Posted: 15 Sep 15

      Really? Is the person who wrote this white or blk? Because being a blk woman with a white husband this shyt happens at white cook outs.

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      • Briannayes says:
        Posted: 02 Oct 15

        He is not a good writer. Or his content is really bad and fictitious I should say.

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