Tips for White women dating interracially. Really?
Do you have any idea about what you are getting yourself into before starting an interracial relationship? Some couples usually have it easy. Then again, some interracial couples face tonnes of challenge. Tiffanie Drayton complied tips for interracial daters. In fact her article focuses on White women in interracial relationships with colored men.
If you ask me, some of these tips make the White woman seem like she has no clue what she is getting into when she decides to date interracially. In fact, I think some are just too harsh and dont qualify as tips but "lets-bash-these-women" kind of thing.
Here are the ones that ticked me off:
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"1. If you don’t believe racism exists, don’t date interracially.
While confined to the realms of “Whiteness,” a person can remain ignorant to the experiences of racism that constantly leave people of color feeling diminished and undervalued. This can sometimes translate into a lack of even awareness that racism exists and is experienced by others. A romantic relationship is supposed to provide a safe space for individuals to express their feelings and come to terms with their life experiences. For people of color who live in a White-dominated country, many of those experiences will be plagued by racism. A significant other who dismisses or trivializes those realities could never provide adequate support for their non-White partner in relationship. So, if you’re someone who believes we live in a post-racial society because we have a Black president, you probably won’t be the best long-term partner for a person of color."
I believe the above could have been put lightly. Say: 'Much as you dont esperience racism, your partner might. So be considerate as opposed to telling them they are overreacting because you never really know how they feel. Be suppotive. Lend an ear. And show them love. And acknowledge that much as something may have sounded as a joke to you, it may not be to him given the experiences he may have had to go through.'
"2. Your partner is not the "exception to the rule.
The belief that men of color are “thugs” and thus somehow unworthy of white respect is a widespread belief that is often exploited by the media and politics. This creates bias towards Black and other minority men — a “rule” of inferiority — that is often deeply internalized by non-minorities. When White people find themselves in relationships with loving, caring partners who also happen to be Black or minority, but does not fit those often deeply internalized stereotypes, internal conflict can arise. And sadly, this conflict is often resolved by creating an “exception” of a partner while holding on to the deeply ingrained, racist notions. (“He’s not your typical Black guy.”) That, of course, is very problematic. No relationship can be built on or sustained without acknowledgment, acceptance and respect: including the respect of the race and background of the person you are with."
To be honest, I did not get this one. Somebody please explain... But for some reason it ended up on the list. You tell me...
"3. Your partner may be of another race, but your relationship does not exempt you from being racist or exploring White privilege. As I explained above, many can maintain prejudiced and even racist ideas while also having relationships with people of other races. These attitudes have been ingrained by a White supremacist/patriarchal society that has created a system of White normalization (i.e. privilege). The only way they can be overcome and dispelled are if they are confronted and challenged, not denied or avoided. Just because you’re dating a Black person does not mean it’s impossible for you to say/do racist things, and it doesn’t absolve you of recognizing your White privilege. Dating a POC is not a hall pass."
Really???? "Hall pass"? The past is the past. Flashing the "White supremacist" card is so dated. The thing is, not all Whites are racist. And when taking about exploring white priviledge, its like telling a person of color that Its wrong to explore whatever priviledges or favors that may come their way for being colored. So to be fare, if priviledges come your way, by all means enjoy them.
The other tips, I agreed with them. Read them on THEFRISKY.COM .Feel free to air your opinion. I may be overreacting...
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