Is racism the fuel behind your choice to date interracially?
Ama Yawson has always been for interracial relationships. In fact she has always thought of people who are against interracial relationships as morons; until last Thanksgiving – all thanks to the appalling views of his teenage nephew on interracial dating.
According to a guest at the Thanksgiving dinner she had hosted, his nephew Richard declared that at his college of hundreds of black girls, none of them was attractive. And to add to this, his college mate said the only girls Richard found attractive are blue eyed with long blonde hair.
Richard is a Black young man. And he never denied this.
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This, wasn’t shocking until that evening when he laughed his head off while he was telling a joke about the ‘Titanic’ saying black women died having not gotten on the emergency rafts because they kept screaming: “I’m not getting on. I don’t want to get my weave wet” (His nephew doing a Shanaynay voice).
Yawson was dismayed. This was his handsome nephew whom she loved and she couldn’t believe he would never see beauty in her because of her skin color and the lack of blue eyes and long blonde hair. Sadly, his nephew is not the first black man who demeans black women’s physical features; calling them ugly and hailing women of other races for their light skin and long silky hair. And much as he isn’t the only one, Yawson never thought it is something that would happen in her own house, at a dinner filled with, cooked and served by quite a large group of black women.
As she pondered over this, the words of Nigerian-American rapper Wale echoed in her mind: “Our… enemy… has turned out to be our own… self-hating sons… who… [want]… to escape… [their]… own people…”
Yawson confronted Richard - not because she cared that her nephew found blonde women attractive, but because he said there wasn’t a single attractive black girl at his college. About this, he said he personally had not seen one in his 1 ½ years in college. As for the ‘Titanic’ weave joke, he said he thought it was a cool joke because he had told the joke before to a relative who is married to a white woman; and didn’t say nothing about it.
Yawson tried to tell him how he should try and find beauty in black women; his sisters and mother; because seeing beauty In them meant seeing beauty in himself. She tried to make him see how his perception of black women could manifest as a curse to his sister who is about to enter the dating world. Well, all that didn’t sway the teenage boy. But she believes that some day, her words will sink in. (See article on "Apology from black man who used to hate on black women".)
All Yawson wants isn’t for Richard to start dating black women; all she wants is for Richards’s interracial relationships to be “based on genuine love, and not lack of appreciation of his own physical features as reflected in black women”.
In conclusion, Yawson says, much as she is an interracial dating advocate doesn’t mean she advocates racism. And racism isn’t about black oppression by whites. She says:
"Racism can be internalized. It can be present in the hearts and minds of black people and it impacts how we value ourselves and each other. The lack of appreciation of blackness and the desire to escape blackness through interracial marriage… I take issue with race-based self-loathing that sometimes fuels interracial dating… That said, all our relationships should be fueled by love, not tainted by self-loathing of any kind."
Perfectly conclusion... nothing more to add.
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